The Stark Out
by Gummybear1178
Summary: Things have mysteriously been moved around on the base the last few nights around the Avengers Compound, so Tony Stark has decided to get to the bottom of it. So he sets out for his first ever Stark Out. Complete humor and laughs!


Tony Stark was tired of it. Every single night things would go missing only to show up in the most random place around the base. They tried checking the cameras, except nothing could be seen on them, there was nothing, the object would just suddenly go into a direction and then just reappear somewhere else, yet nothing would show up on any of the cameras, which is insane because Tony Stark himself designed the system and the placements of all of the cameras it was impossible to evade them, even Romanoff couldn't evade all of them until she thoroughly studied the whole system, and no one else had access. So in order to save his own pride Tony decided to have a stake out. It wasn't that hard for him as he was used to staying up for days and just forgetting to sleep.

So Stark setup a "STARK out hut", as he had elected to call it, it basically consisted of some snacks, the security camera feeds, 3 iron man suits to choose from along with his stealth suit which he already had on, and not to leave out his set of drone cameras which would be helping him vlog his whole life-threatening experience.

"So guys today, we are going to be finding out who this mystery thief is, well can you consider him a thief? I mean he isn't technically stealing anything, nor has he taken anything off property. Hmmm... so the displacer. No. No. I can come up with a better name than that. hmmm... Oooh I know, the Shifter. You know, because they are just shifting things around? Yea I know I am a genius. Well back to the point, this shifter chap, has been moving things around the compound, and I mean it is insane, like all of the keyboards from around the base were moved to all of the coffee tables, and the coffee machines got moved interrogation room, oh and then some of the pots and pans were in the training room, and appeared to be in a battle scene with spatulas and spoons as weapons. Then a ton of ice cubes were put in Cap's room, which I got blamed for that! Can you believe it!? Me! Oh and don't even get me started on where we found Hawkeye's arrows... Well anyway the plan is to have a STARK out, I know I am a genius for that pun, I deserve and award for that, and we are going to sit here and wait on something to show up on the camera's or until we hear something that sounds strange. So I am sitting here in my stealth suit, along with a few other suits, some snacks, including the Avengers gummies, check my website and use the promo code STARK out for a buy 3 get 1 free coupon! Well back to business, we will find this Shifter. So we are going to have a STARK out the entire night and others if necessary. Also as you can see I have made the perfect STARK out hut, with these amazingly soft iron man blankets, also on my website, to surround us and keep us from prying eyes-"

"TONY! What are you doing now?" Pepper asked opening a gap between the blankets.

"Pepper! That isn't the entrance, jeez it's over there" Tony says as he points to the other side of the tent and walks up to her and recloses the blankets, as she walks to the entrance shaking her head.

"Tony, what are you doing?"

" _I_ am hosting, are you ready for it? The first ever, STARK out."

"Tony..." She trailed off shaking her head.

"What, I am going to catch the Shifter"

"The who?"

"The Shifter, you know the person who has been shifting around all of the stuff around base. Well I named him the Shifter. So I am going to catch him, look I am even vlogging it, plus you ruined the whole nobody can see us thing when you came in, and it wasn't even the entrance, do you know how hard that is going to be to edit out!"

"Tony, we do not need all of these cameras around the compound, we already have a security system in-place, you need to go to sleep."

"But Pepper the security system isn't catching the Shifter. So obviously I need to find out how they are evading the cameras so we can fix this security issue, plus you know I can go a week without sleep, sometimes even longer when I choose too."

"Tony, then why are you blogging this?"

"Because it's fun, and it's Vlogging, with a v, plus it is an entire show starring me, about me, and written by me. Honestly it is the greatest things ever wrapped into one."

"Tony, you need to go to bed. NOW."

"But Pepper, it is the first ever STARK out, plus it's a matter of compound security, what kind of person would I be if I allowed these breaks in security to continue?"

"Fine Tony, but I expect this to only last until they are caught, but if it goes on for more than two nights, you will sleep on the next then you can go back to it, but I swear Tony, if you try and break that deal I will make FRIDAY ban you from all of the labs and the suits."

"Thank you Pepper! I love you!"

"Uh huh sure, see you in the morning." Pepper said with a smile on her face while shaking her head and leaving through the assigned entrance, only to humor his endeavors

"Well guys, I am back. So the time is currently, 11:56, we are closing in on when we will finally catch, the Shifter. So, let the first ever STARK out begin."

Tony then sat down in his chair he had brought in, and put his feet up on the desk where all of the security feeds were. While the Shifter had not been seen on camera, when something moves Tony will at least know where to start looking. He also had camera drones ready to be in other areas when he wasn't already there, once he left his STARK out hut all feeds would be shown on a side screen in his suit.

A little while later Stark continued his vlog,

"So far we have had no activity from the Shifter. We are just approaching our demise, as the time ticks by. WAIT! I just saw movement on camera 15! It was just a quick blurr! We are off to the training room! Oh and for safety purposes the camera numbers have been re-done for this video, in your face evil doers!"

Stark quickly, yet stealthily makes his way to the training room, only to find all of the Athletic tape gone, and in its place some scotch tape.

"Ok, seriously, that is the best they've got!? I mean come on." Stark said rolling his eyes.

"Wait then where is the Athletic tape? FRIDAY? where is it?"

" _Sir, it appears to be in the main bathroom where the toilet paper would usually be."_ FRIDAY tells him through the suits speakers.

"Ok, what is going on here?" Stark asked himself aloud and began to search for clues, he liked to believe he had been Sherlock Holmes in another life.

While searching for clues, Pepper walks in in just a t-shirt and leggings.

"Tony what are you doing now?"

"Why I am searching for clues."

"Are you serious? Do you really think you are going to just magically find this "Shifter". Who do you think you are, Sherlock Holmes?"

"Please, I am the new and improved sherlock holmes, I am STARKlock Holmes."

"Tony, you didn't."

"But I did, and I am not Tony, I am, STARKlock Holmes."

"Tony..."

"Be right back Pep, don't move!" STARKlock Holmes said before rushing out, only to return moments later, still in the iron man suit, just with the addition of a Sherlock Holmes outfit over it.

"Tony are you serious?"

"It's elementary Dear Watson."

Pepper just stared at him not even knowing what to say anymore.

"Come on I need to search for clues!"

"Have fun with that, I am going back to bed. I will deal with this in the morning"

STARKlock Holmes continued to search around for clues, and find one he did, eventually, on the tape there was a sticky residue, no not the sticky part of the tape, rather the plastic casing, it was gooey ish. STARKlock Holmes recognized the blend but could quiet put his finger on what it was.

"FRIDAY, you now go by Watson for the time being when addressed by me, Watson, analyze this substance and tell me what it is."

 _"It seems to be made out of a concoction of Silk, as well as a nylon material."_

"Hmmm... I am heading back to my STARK out hut with my mini-lab to continue my research and watching the camera's. Watson, keep a lookout on the security cameras and let me know if this substance is found anywhere else on base."

Making his way back to his STARK out hut, he went in through the designated entrance and sat in his chair and began to ponder, what was made out of nylon and silk, and could move such things.

Whilst he pondered, he reached down without looking to grab his Avengers gummies as a snack, only to find them not there.

Looking down he found they were gone, he then looked over his hut only to find them no where to be seen. Sighing he assumed Pepper had took them and reached over for his cookies he had hidden, only for the strange substance to cover his suit and hold his head in place as it also wrapped around his chair, confused he let it continue, waiting to see where he wound up as he could do little at this time.

He muted his speakers that made his voice go out of the suit and began to vlog,

"This just in! The Shifter is, well, shifting me! WE are going through the hallways, and past the kitchen, where is he taking me!? Ok, remember all of my stuff goes to Pepper, except ice, all the ice goes to cap, oh and Banner still gets to use my labs when he is back. Natashalie, you are not allowed near my suits! But you can have some of the weapons, Barton, you can have my pranking suit, I know it will be put to good use. Wait. The Shifter is taking me to my... Room? THIS IS NOT ELEMENTARY WATSON! NOT ELEMENTARY!"

He vlogged all of this while he appeared to be just floating and attached to the ceiling as his chair with him in it stayed just above the floor and was moved into his bedroom, then the chair was moved to where he was laying on his back in the chair, the chair also in the bed. With Pepper laying next to the chair, shifting slightly, starting to roll over

"Tony, did you finally come to your senses and come to bed- ANTHONY STARK WHY ARE YOU IN BED ATTACHED TO A CHAIR IN THE IRON MAN SUIT AND THE SHERLOCK HOLMES OUTFIT?!" Pepper shouted rolling over, while Tony stared wide eyed at his little protege Peter Parker standing on the ceiling above him with his eyes closed, and the webbing still attached to him and the chair.

Tony quickly opens up his iron man mask

"PETER!?" Tony shouts in confusion, awakening the sleepwalker.

"HUh-what?" Peter wakes and falls from the ceiling on his head, luckily landing on the bed.

"What is going on here?! Tony I am blaming you, because honestly, I don't even know and you are always responsible for something. Work this out! Oh Peter, sweetie are you okay?"

"I think so, my head hurts some but other than that yea. Also quick question, why am I in here?"

"Come on kid, let's go to med-bay" Tony said attempting to get up only to remember he was webbed to a chair, "ummm... a bit of help here guys?"

"Of course Mr. Stark, but why are you covered in webbing?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing kid." Tony says as Peter gets him out of the webbing."

Making their way there Tony explains to Peter what happened, while Peter remains completely shocked. Though also slightly amused at his pranks. As they walked they figured out that Peter's Spidey sense helped him subconsciously avoid all of the camera's, and he used his stealth webs to move the objects.

Once arriving in Med-bay Tony went to go get an Ice-pack only to find them gone and replaced.

"Peter, want to explain this one?"

"Ok, well you have got to admit, sleepwalking me is hilarious"

"Really, Popsicles."

"Not just any Popsicles, Avengers popsicles, from your website."

"Well I guess we can work with that, popsicle?" Tony offers, not even looking at which he got for himself and what he had gotten for Peter.

"You know, you could say I am eating a... Capsicle!"

"See you get my humor, I made the joke of cap being a Capsicle, and nobody laughed, honestly." Tony said and then realized who his popsicle was.

"You know kid, I am going to bite your head off for these shenanigans." Tony said seriously and the took a large bite out of his popsicle, his Spiderman popsicle.

"That's cold Mr. Stark"

"Well it is a popsicle after all"

* * *

The next afternoon Tony had already made a mixture for Peter to drink that would prevent his sleepwalking, so they were just sitting in the living room with the other avengers laughing at the little Stunts the sleepwalking menace had done when Pepper walked in eating an iron man popsicle,

"You know, it would be nice not to be awoken in the middle of the night by an idiot covered in webbing and attached to a chair dressed in an iron man suit with a sherlock holmes suit over it. I guess I will just have to bite your head off over it." Pepper said walking in with a completely serious face as she took a huge chunk out of the Iron Man head popsicle, "You know revenge is a dish best served cold." Pepper said before walking out and sliding her phone out and texting a quick thank you to Peter for the joke. Leaving the avengers laughter in her wake.


End file.
